It is not an easy task to be a dad nowadays especially bearing in mind the changes we women have made in our way of being mums. I believe it was easier to be a dad in the past: you would put your grain and children were usually from the mothers. Now, and each day a bit more (for god’sake!), fathers are much more involved, live their children with more emotion and responsability…even some of them would like to be mothers..
We usually hear that there is nothing like a mum. And I truly believe the same happens with dads.
What is the role of a father for his kids?
Much more than we can believe. Here are 3 main aspects of it:
- Teaching them NOT to have fusional relationships- In psychology, the fathers main role is to separate the child from the mother. The first 90 days of birth are referred to as the mother craziness whom goal is to protect the new born. The mother is totally focused on the baby, forgetting all other roles.
- Training their ability to take risks – I think it is more than common to see a mother scared of the way her partner throws the child in the air or does not get affected at all by its cries. Winnicott demostrated that fathers play a huge role for children’s motricity and helping them to fly on their own. Here is the way we actually truly complement each other.
- Being (or not) a real example in terms of gender diversity – I am personally really grateful to two fathers in my family: one is my own, because he taught me how to be strong, to put my limits and speak languages in order to move freely around the world. I have grown up aware of the fact he paid my mother her 11 years long Medicine studies. A true example on this one! And to my husband, whose support is unconditional and for his ability to change some of his gender based jokes! I feel respected, stretched by him and he never puts me limits! I know both of these men are not an exception and we need more in this world, porque they are the examples to our children.
I wish all Dads a nice Father’s day (in Spain), conscious of their important role for their kids and the society. As Women we need you more than ever to be freer today in 2016!
If you are interested about how to contribute as a Dad to change the gender stereotypes in our society, read the article I wrote on Beatriz Millan’s blog Papa, Educame Libre! I hope you like it!