Quite some days have passed since the attacks against Charlie Hebdo. Some days before, my grandma passed away. Both disturbing events and related to death but with a big difference: my grandmother’s death is logical because of her age, when Charlie Hebdo is not. I have needed all those days (and of course will need more) to assimilate the effect they had on me. Only now do I feel able to write something about it.
The terrorist attacks made me feel both part of the fight for freedom but at the same time, not. Why? Because it made the freedom I am seeking here for TFMP so insubstantial compared to the freedom of expression and the danger that Fundamentalism is to freedom in general. And of course, being French and thinking about how politicians have been handling immigration and fundamentalism in France over the last years, I can only but feel concerned by it.
And then, as each time such a slaughter happens, I start asking myself what it takes for someone to kill for his/her beliefs. I hereby include killings such as those in colleges as well. What is it that makes a person get into sects or join jihadists? There must be something in common.
There are so many explications, political influences and theories, sociological and even anthropological but not that many comments are made on the type of emotional links terrorists have. I am not talking about taking away responsibility from the terrorists, don’t get me wrong. But What type of identity is the reference for those who kill others like this? How did they grow up? What type of relationship did they develop with their surroundings? What love and caring did they experience? What do they have in common that make them preys of such groups?
As far as I am concerned, clearly there is a point behind these questions and this is what most impacted me: the quality of the relationships with our kids. I have a responsibility: it is not only for me to teach them to be tolerant and respectful of others, but really it is about helping them to be strong enough not to turn themselves into victims of fanatism or simply seeking extreme references because they lack their own.And in order to do that, I want to be in the present, with them, spend a lot of my time in order to cultivate this. I know it is quite late in January to share this and this is MY 2015 resolution: being there because emotional bonds are all what really matters