This morning, it snowed in Madrid! Beautiful white dress everywhere…My kids were so enthusiastic, jumping around in excitement and I loved it as well. But talking to people later in the morning some started saying what a pain it was, having to drive through the snow and all the down sides of it…and I realized that I had not really thought about this… And it made me feel sorry for them…
Don’t you feel people are literally vomiting their negative feelings sometimes? It is in the air, it is like pollution, it goes around and takes life away. It is in the car, it is in the emails, it is in the supermarket…it is everywhere!
I find that more and more people are burn out, self-centered or simply truly depressed and therefore aggressive. And I so truly believe it is not the way forward, that I have decided to shout it. STOP IT!
Here are 10 tips to turn around the negative wave into positive!
- 1. Express your feelings – sing and dance the positive feelings, share them, praise others, explode with joy like kids, share your enthusiasm! And if they are negative, don’t keep them to you or if you do, then do it once, deeply, puke them out but make sure it is in a bag, in a safe place or with people who can take it. If you don’t say anything then it might get worse. Dump your negativity somewhere not on someone.
- 2. Ask questions to others about themselves and listen to them – At a certain point, I have asked myself if it was my fault or it was just how life is, because very few people ever ask me how I am. My job is about asking others and I love it and as a human being, I also appreciate others to be interested in me. Genuine interest makes life so much more beautiful. Asking questions and listening are the two basic behaviors to develop a trustful relationship.
- 3. Smile – I always remember this sentence “A smile does not cost a thing, but is worth a lot”. Try it: smile at people, they will give it back. It is a great feeling!
- 4. Step away – communication is not about being right. It is about understanding each other. Don’t go into aggressive tones. Step back from comments you receive. Don’t go into escalating the negative spirals. Stop it, take distance, and calm down. Breathe before you speak!
- 5. Be true to yourself – playing a role can contribute to false communication and end up into deep frustration. I find it hard nowadays to really be oneself. Being authentic means saying what you really think respecting your values. In a world where superficiality and ultra-positivism are also a challenge, it does not mean either to say that everything is perfect to others to avoid talking about delicate topics. Find your balance!
- 6. Always look at the bright side of things – may it be a tough situation or a challenging person you have to deal with, he/she has always something good behind (even if it does not look like it at first sight). Most of the time, it is not against you, it is for him/her that he/she acts this way. The moment we realize this and manage to recall it during delicate situations, it can change dramatically the way we live tough situations.
- 7. List all the positive things that happened in your day, your afternoon, your week. Fill in your mind with positive feelings. Be grateful! Psychological research has actually shown that writing letters of gratitude once a week over a six-week period leads to greater life satisfaction as compared to simply recording ordinary life events.
- Say Sorry – recognize your mistakes, and say sorry. It is not about being right again, it is about what the other person felt. We will come back on this point in another post.
- 9. Thrive on learning – This is the only way to grow. Take feedback, accept it, look for it. Do at least one new thing per week. Surprise yourself. Go out of your comfort zone.
- 10. Stop judging – go one step further. It is a different way of seeing things. What can you learn from it?
You can choose to fight negativism. It depends on you. I have decided to be free from negativism. And you? Here is a beautiful video that really shows the chain of being positive. Enjoy!