Because becoming a Dad is as challenging as becoming a Mother, we open up TFMP to them this week. Here is a first testimony of a father on how Fatherhood made him free.
The most intense day of my live is my son birth. Stronger than ever, I am flying, I feel strong, I am invincible, I become a tribe chief and my role has changed: I now need to protect my people, fulfill all their needs. Pride.
Yes. But… The thing is that I had never realized that becoming a daddy means that my wife also became a mummy… And, not mine. “My wife” is just a concept now. Nothing is more important for her than taking care of this 4kg piece of flesh that I love more than everything, ok, but, hey, I am still here!!! I have not signed for that… or yes?
On March 16th, he turned 2. In fact, becoming a father is easy. Seeing his wife becoming a mother is difficult. The gap increased at the beginning because she could not understand that it was possible for me to think about something else than the “baby”; at the same time, I could not understand that my wife was nothing but a concept anymore. At the end, this situation is beneficial. Indeed, becoming a daddy helped me to rebalance who I am and to better know to be available for others, above all for them. That, step by step, helped the mummy to reconnect with her inner woman, for herself first, then for the couple to be a couple again. Final benefit: a strong and stable family.
Troubles have been important. How many times did I hide behind the front door, late at night coming back from work, hesitating to get through, asking myself what have I done, where my previous life was? Free to leave; free to stay.
Each time, I decided to stay. And I would be lost if I had done something else. My son revealed me to myself. Each day, he makes me stronger – sometimes in pain – he helps me to become a better man; he helps us to become a better partner. He strengthens who we are.
My son changed me. He makes me choose who I am; he helps me to better enjoy my time with him and the 3 of us together, to really value what appeared to be common before; to make choices and to assume it. He makes me stronger.