“I have to comb my child before going out!”, “This mother is a bad mother because she left her child with his father instead of taking him with her!”..”I can’t take out a little new born with no clothes in August in Madrid, it is not appropriate!” “What? You are not breastfeeding? ….”if I do this, they will think this way”…
“The neighbor’s talking”, What will they say”, this dark strength that would deserve more than one article.
It can get to paralyse us, prevent us from asking things, live a life “towards others” forgetting who we really are. Concern about “what they will say” can stop us to live freely and that is why it is such a hot topic to tackle.
Others will always comment about what you or others do. This is how we work. Now, what can we do in order to ignore this or simply not care about it?
- Decide first for yourself and prepare for objections. If you are sure about your decision, it will impact you much less than if you are still doubting.
- Do not think automatically that if people look at you, they think negative. Train yourself exactly to think the opposite: they love it! Work on your positive attitude!
- Only focus on people who really care about you. Those are the ones that count.
- Read often the following story, quite powerful indeed!
This is the story of a Wise Man whose son is scared to go out in case people find him ugly. His father tells him to avoid taking care of other’s opinion and to follow his heart and idea instead. In order to support his words, he takes him to the market the following days.
The first day, the father rides the donkey and the boy walks. Both hear people criticizing the father because he forces his child to walk by such a heat!
On the second day, the boy is on the donkey whilst his father walks. This time, people find that this child is being unrespectful to this father, who is walking whilst he is relaxing.
On the third day, both are walking next to the donkey and they reach the market under the following comments: “look how silly they are! They don’t know what is a donkey made for!
On the next day, father and son arrive on the donkey to the village and people are out their mind : how cruel for this poor animal !
On the fifth day, they are carrying the donkey. At the market, everyone is laughing at them and taking the piss.
The Wise Man turns to his son and says : « you see, whatever you do, there will always be someone to disapprove. So, never worry about what people think, do everything according to what you believe is fair and good”
Let’s forget about others!